The Manager's Office

Ted enters from a door in the left hand wall into a managers office, standard lamp,, standard chair, in and out tray, assorted stationary. the desk is neat but not fastidiously so, there are two chairs,on either side of the desk, both are empty. The desk itself is constructed with a flat panel along the front so we cannot see underneath it. on the back wall, unnoticed by Ted is a large window with the curtains drawn, beneath the curtains we can see a single pair of legs, they belong to the MANAGER. Ted looks round the office, not noticing the legs he moves towards the door, opens it and calls out:-
TED: excuse me? i'm sorry, you did say he was in didn't you?
SANDRA: (V.O) yes he hasn't left,
TED: Oh, ok! (TURNING BACK INTO THE ROOM) hmm,
Ted looks around the room, goes over to the desk and looks over the top of it expecting the MANAGER to be behind it. he stands up straight again and once again looks round the room, this time noticing the pair of legs beneath the curtains. cautiously walking over, we see the curtains twitching faster and faster as he approaches. TED rips back the curtains revealing the MANAGER who instantly shrieks in terror and runs across the room to the safety of underneath his desk.
TED: sir? (CAUTIOUSLY APPROACHES DESK) Ted Carruther's sir, you called me in for an interview?
MANAGER: (NOT A TRACE OF FEAR) oh yes my boy, do take a seat.
TED: Are you alright sir?
MANAGER: perfectly well my boy why d'you ask?
TED: you're underneath a desk sir
MANAGER: (GENUINE ASTONISHMENT) am i?
TED: yes
MANAGER: oh yes, i do indeed seem to be under my desk.
TED: umm, will you be coming out?
MANAGER: i can't see why i would. tea?
TED: sorry?
MANAGER: tea? do you want? or would you prefer coffee?
TED: umm, tea, please
MANAGER: (SOUND OF A KETTLE BOILING BENEATH THE DESK, STEAM RISES FROM BEHIND THE DESK) milk?
TED: yes, urm, please.
MANAGER: sugar?
TED: no thankyou
MANAGER: watching your weight eh, my wife tells me to cut down on the sugar but she's just as bad...aren't you darling?
WIFE: (ALSO FROM BENEATH THE DESK) oh i'm not that bad anymore dear, i take sweetener nowadays.
MANAGER: none of that for me, a good strong sweet brew for me. i began as a labourer you see, got a taste for it then.
WIFE: you used to be out in the sun doing manual labour back then dear, your body needed the sugar.
MANAGER: lets not get into this now darling, Mr.Carruther's is here for the job opening in F Department.
WIFE: right - o, i'll go and get out of your hair, lovely to have met you Mr.Carruther's (A FEMALE HAND APPEARS ABOVE THE DESK, TED REACHES OVER TO SHAKE IT) and good luck to you.
TED: Thankyou
MANAGER: alright Ted, so you worked for Crinkle's for 5 years, why did you leave them?
TED: the company were forced to downsize and i was made redundant.
MANAGER: i see, and are you redundant?
TED: umm, well at the moment i am, thats why i'm here for the job
MANAGER:ooph, don't know if we want any redundant people here at Bingle's. leaving great piles of it everywhere
TED: i'm sorry sir?
MANAGER: redundant people, leave piles of poo everywhere
TED: ...i think you're mistaken sir, Redundant means that they didn't have a job for me there anymore.
MANAGER: so what was i thinking of? big noses...
TED: Elephants sir?
MANAGER: thats the bunnys. spot on. well i think we can get you started (SOUND OF HOOVERING FROM UNDER DESK) Marge dear! can you turn that off we're nearly done? can't hear meself think in heare (HOOVER STOPS) there we go. where was i...yes, i think we could get you started on monday if that suits you?
TED: yes sir, thankyou very much.
MANAGER: good man, see you monday.
TED shakes the MANAGER's hand that appears above the desk and exits.
END